Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 
Sticks & Stones (Especially Stones)

It's been a fairly relaxing day that has seen me finally start to overcome a rather virulent resurrection of a cold and strep throat that began attacking me a few days ago. Now, however, it's ended on a painful and typically stupid note. The short of it is this: kicking rocks half rooted in the ground is counter-productive.

The longer version tries to defend me, but still fails in not making me look like an idiot. I'm usually the one to take the 3 family dogs (Shady, Dublin & Belfast; Sinatra is now with my sister/his owner) out at night for their last pee break of the evening. It's roughly ten o'clock and the skies are pretty dark by now. The rear half of the yard is where the puppies play, since that part actually has grass. Well this half is also shaded by about 2-3 trees and countless other shadows from the fences and the neighbouring park, so overall it's rather dimly lit.

Dublin in particular enjoys it when I kick a small tennis ball around, and she chases after it. She never actually pounces on it once the ball stops rolling or she catches up to it; with Dublin it seems to be more a "thrill of the chase" thing. I was idly kicking the tennis ball, Dublin racing after it, and then I made my way across the yard to kick it to the other side.

Well, needless to say that in a dimly-lit backyard, a rock half-embedded in the ground bears a peculiar if not uncanny resemblance to
a tennis ball. This certainly explains why, when I kicked it, the "ball" did not move and my big toe shrieked in pain. Seeing as how the rock had already proven itself the more dominant species in the yard, I dared not try to infringe on its territorial claim again, which is why the rock has not yet been hurled over the fence into a wooded area of the neighbouring park.

It's still sitting there in the backyard. I just know it's gloating.

Upon rereading this entry, all I can say is that this still makes me look like an idiot. A cute, lovable idiot, but an idiot nevertheless.

Today's Lesson: Rocks hurt.


posted by Phillip at 7:18 PM

 
Dante For Dummies

How damned are you? Well, apparently now you can find out, with the all-new online Medieval-based test to see where in (the) hell you're going to wind up. Taking their inspiration from Dante's Divine Comedy, these quiz creators have devised a series of questions to see how much penance you're going to have to suffer in the afterlife. I actually found this quite the enjoyable diversion, especially since it stays pretty faithful to Dante's version of where certain souls would go based on their sins.

Of course, the quick-reference guide to hell you get after taking the quiz could also be used by lazy students who want to buy a Coles Notes book on the Inferno. But I suppose you have to take the good with the bad.

www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.html

(Since I'm still trying to threaten the hyperlink coding to work, and it's calling all my bluffs, you'll have to excuse the lack of click-and-go-there.)

It appears I get to reside in Purgatory when this life is all done & over. I'm willing to bet that stepping on a llama's foot was what got me the boot out of Paradise. You can always trust those pesky llamas to rat you out...


posted by Phillip at 10:40 AM

 
Ominous

It's twenty minutes after eight in the evening. I have consumed half a canister of milk chocolate cake frosting in the past half hour. No good is sure to come of this...
posted by Phillip at 5:26 PM

 
Send in the Hordes!

Ever notice how the more ancient a conqueror was/is, the more overall respect they seem to garner for themselves? Sure everyone has their detractors, but even still I tend to find more positive (and sometimes even romanticised) thoughts regarding some of the older conquerors out there.

For example, I have not really encountered a lot of people who vehemently condemn or argue against the conquests of such well-loved pillagers as the Norse Vikings, the Mongol hordes, or the ancient Greek and Roman armies. Even Alexander the Great is considered a pretty good conqueror, as far as conquerors go.

Compare these to some of the more recent (I hesitate to use the term "modern") conquerors, like Hitler or Napoleon. Or Disney or Bill Gates for that matter. Perhaps I'm picking the examples that tend to get picked on, and this is resulting in a biased view against recent conquerors. Yet many people seem to think Napoleon was a short megalomaniac, whereas Bill Gates is just a nerdy-looking megalomaniac. Disney has a lot of vocal detractors. And Hitler...enough said, simply by saying his name here.

Why is that? Why are the more ancient of conquerors, who were probably and in all likelihood not the nicest of characters, garnering such overall good publicity? Is it because they're so far back in time, we cannot properly understand their vices, so what we're left with are extolling their virtues? Is it because they've somehow procured the greatest historical spin doctors ever? Or is it because they actually succeeded, whereas the ones in more recent history, by many accounts, have failed poorly? This does beg the question of whether or not the line between insanity or genius is drawn by success or failure.

If that is the case, the art of conquest started going downhill around the time of the first Crusades, since the Crusades tend to get lumped into the "Conqueror Bad" listing more often than not. You can't help but wonder if somewhere out there, the Khans are staring down at such warlording empires as Microsoft, and indignantly snorting, "Idiots."

Today's Lesson: perhaps the old ways are better; 1,000 large sweaty guys on horseback with large, pointy swords can't be wrong!
posted by Phillip at 4:48 PM